Fractured Testicle.com

Diamondbacks fire Bob Melvin

2009-05-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard, the Diamondbacks fired Bob Melvin yesterday and today announced his replacement will be A.J. Hinch.
I'm a little disappointed in this decision. Not because I think Melvin shouldn't have been fired, after all you can't fire all the players so you have to let the manager go. No, I'm disappointed because I wasn't on the short list of possible managerial candidates to replace Melvin.......after all A.J. Hinch and I have the exact same amount of professional coaching experience.......ZERO!
Well, I'm off to the game tonight against the Nationals, hopefully these changes can pull the team out of their funk.

Manny on Extended Vacation

2009-05-08T17:26:00.002-07:00

The Diamondbacks may have caught a break yesterday when Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for a performance enhancing drug. Of course it was all a big mistake because some doctor gave him a prescription for something or other that he wasn't suppose to take or whatever.
Hopefully the D'Backs can make a run on the Dodgers now that he will be out. After all his batting average and production was the equivalent of any two of our four outfielders not named Justin Upton.

D'backs Sign Chris Snyder to 3 yr Extension

2009-01-19T13:26:00.010-07:00

The D'backs signed the old "Fractured Testicle" himself, Chris Snyder to a 3 year $14.25 million contract extension. I like the decision, he has developed into a top notch defensive catcher and works well with the pitching staff. I believe he will continue to improve on the offensive side as well. Read more here.

Diamondbacks sign Felipe Lopez to replace Orlando Hudson at 2nd base.

Super sub infielder Augie Ojeda signs one year contract and will return for the 2009 season.

D'backs acquire LHP Scott Schoeneweis from the NY Mets to bolster the bullpen.

2009 Diamondbacks schedule.

New Golf Show.....Swingus Interruptus

2008-08-17T21:16:00.008-07:00

Are you ready for a new golf reality show? Charles Barkley will reportedly start filming a new reality show in a couple weeks that will appear on the Golf Channel . Charles will be working with Tiger Woods' swing coach Hank Haney to fix his horrible golf swing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, a few more videos of Charles' infamous swing can be found here, here, and here.

I have always thought maybe Charles was putting us on with that swing. I didn't think anyone, especially a former professional athlete could actually have a swing that bad, but he claims he has a horrible case of the yips! Let me know what you think, is it real, or is Charles putting us on?

What Not to Read

2008-08-12T08:07:00.002-07:00

As a public service announcement to my fellow man (and woman), I feel obligated to steer you clear of a book I finished over the weekend. It's called The Story of Edgar Sawtelle: A Novel. I read about it in a recommendation in the Wall Street Journal. I bought it with my Amazon Kindle and spent many hours reading all 576 pages of it .... hours of my life that I will never get back. It is without a doubt the worst book that I have ever finished. What's truly amazing to me is as this is written there are 189 reviews on Amazon with a 3-1/2 star average, but 83 people gave it 5 stars, with many of those saying it is the best book they have ever read. It's interesting to read some of the five star reviews and then some of the one or two star reviews for comparison. Take my advice and steer clear .... but if you have already fallen prey to the hype and read this "dog" let me know what you thought.

It's a Dunn Deal!!

2008-08-11T21:14:00.006-07:00

The Arizona Diamondbacks acquired Adam Dunn from the Cincinnati Reds for minor league pitcher Dallas Buck and two players to be named later. Dunn is hitting .233 with 72 RBIs, 80 walks, 120 strikeouts and 32 home runs. I love this trade. I'm glad to see GM Josh Byrnes responding to LA signing Manny Ramirez. Now we finally have our big bopper that we've been missing. The NL West race is going to be exciting right to the end. Here's an article at espn.com that has an interesting statistic.....only A-Rod has more home runs than Dunn since the 2004 season. Awesome!

Now if Byrnes would just get Brandon Webb signed to a contract extension all will be well in D'back land. I'm afraid the deal pulled off the table earlier in the year by the club may be looked back on as a huge missed opportunity. If Webb finishes with 20 plus wins and wins the Cy Young he may be looking for huge money that the D'backs may not be willing to meet.

Breaking News: Brett Favre Only Gets 11.5 MPG!!!

2008-08-06T21:38:00.006-07:00

In a little reported story, Brett Favre has admitted that his SUV only gets an average of 11.5 MPG. In an emotional interview with AP reporter Samantha Stevens, Favre talked about the gut wrenching decision he had to make between the gas guzzler and the more economical hybrid. Brett told the reporter that he initially decided on the hybrid but shortly after getting the truck home he realized he made a huge mistake and arranged an exchange for the gas guzzler.

A few more minutes into the interview Brett broke down and admitted to Stevens that he actually changed his mind several more times and in fact re-exchanged the vehicles three times before finally settling on the V-8 powered SUV seen in the accompanying picture. Favre said "the hybrid just feels right...I know it's the right thing... but everytime I drove it, I missed the power of the V-8. I know I will catch some heat for driving around in this gas guzzler with fuel at $4 a gallon, but I know in my heart I made the right decision."

Only time will tell if he made the right decision, but the dealer, Larry Tate said "I know it's Brett Favre and everything, but I told him no more exchanges, the truck has too many miles on it." Good luck Brett!

Mickelson Chokes Again! Needs Reality Check

2008-08-04T21:50:00.010-07:00

Phil Mickelson was tied for the lead heading to the 15th tee on Sunday at the Bridgestone Invitational. With Vijay Sing seemingly unable to make a putt, it looked like the tournament was Phil's to win. What does Phil do? He proceeds to bogey three out of the last four holes to throw away the tournament.

Asked if he could take any positives out of his late slide, the ever eloquent Mickelson said, "I played great, I really played well. I played great today. I felt like I should have shot 63 or 64, had countless birdie opportunities from 6 to 15 feet and then I make three bogeys on the last four holes and turn a 64 into a 70. So I feel like I'm playing well, I just need to get that final piece of scoring down."

I don't think they need to test Phil for steroids, but he is definitely smoking something.

The reality is, Phil choked. The number two player in the world is not supposed to give away a tournament like that. With Tiger out he is supposed to be the man. Can you imagine Tiger blowing a lead like that? It would never happen.

I guess we will see this week if Phil can shake off his collapse and turn his game around at the PGA Championship at Oakland Hills.

How 'Bout those Twins

2008-08-04T16:59:00.007-07:00

The Minnesota Twins moved ahead of the Chicago White Sox and into first place in the American League Central behind Francisco Liriano's six shutout innings on Sunday against Cleveland. I'm amazed how the Twins manage to be competitive year after year with such a small payroll. For comparison the Twins payroll for 2008 is $62.1 million compared to the second place White Sox at $121.1 million! When you consider they no longer have Torii Hunter and Johan Santana it's really impressive. If they hang on and win their division Ron Gardenhire should be in the running for manager of the year.
Some other notable teams with small payrolls are the D'backs at $66.2 million (1st in NL West), the Rays at $43.8 million (1st in AL East) and the Florida Marlins with the lowest payroll in MLB at $21.8 million and currently 2-1/2 games back in the NL East.
What about the 3rd place Yankees? How about $209 million dollars!!!!!

Michelle Wie Update

2008-08-03T23:05:00.006-07:00

Michelle Wie missed the cut at the Legends Reno-Tahoe Open by nine strokes after shooting nine over par for the first two rounds. On a positive note, she did beat 9 other golfers in the event, the highest ranked player being Brent Geiberger ranked #184. As far as I know this is the weakest field in any tournament of the year with only 14 of the top 100 and no one ranked higher than 46 in the FedEx Cup standings.
"This is another step in the process of making me a better player.” Good luck with that Michelle! Even your coach thought it was a bad idea teeing it up with the guys.
It's too bad she isn't playing college golf at Stanford right now, instead of turning pro at such a young age.

Manny's a Dodger!

2008-08-01T13:29:00.004-07:00

In a move that caught me by surprise, the Dodgers acquired Manny Ramirez in a blockbuster three-way deal with Boston and Pittsburgh. Outfielder Jason Bay will move from Pittsburgh to Boston and the Pirates received reliever Craig Hansen and outfielder Brandon Moss from Boston and third baseman Andy LaRoche and pitcher Bryan Morris from the Dodgers. The kicker is that Boston will pay the remaining $7 million that is owed to Ramirez through the end of the season.
Manny is supposed to make his Dodger debut tonight against Randy Johnson and the Arizona Diamondbacks. Unfortunately for the D'backs, this means we will be seeing even less of Andruw Jones and his .163 batting average. There's no doubt Mannys' addition will make the Dodgers a more dangerous offensive team but watching him play left field in Dodger stadium is going to be fun!
What remains to be seen is how his antics are going to play in LA. My prediction is within the month Torre and Manny will not be speaking to each other and Jeff Kent will find himself in a Manny headlock after a verbal exchange that escalates to a sparring contest.
The bottom line......D'backs win the division!!!

Tiger on the Juice?

2008-07-26T07:41:00.001-07:00

I have to admit, I love golf. I love Tiger Woods (in a metaphorical kind of way). I love what Tiger Woods has done for golf. But I have to be honest, I was a little skeptical when Tiger said he had to have knee surgery after winning the U.S. Open, and will miss the rest of the year, and coincidently, the next week the steroid testing program kicks off. Just prior to that I had read that he had himself tested for steroids twice, just to make sure that none of his supplements were contaminated with steroids. I can almost guarantee you boys and girls that Kenny Perry hasn't had to test himself for steroids. I hope Tiger is not on the juice but come on.....maybe I see testing yourself once, but what was the second test for? Anyway after thinking I was the only one with these dark thoughts I stumbled on this article from the New York Daily News, check it out and let me know what you think.

Do You Have a Kindle Yet?

2008-07-25T22:19:00.012-07:00

From time to time I thought I would tell you about products that I have used and highly recommend. I would like to tell you about the Amazon Kindle. It is an electronic book, or e-book. I bought one for my wife for Christmas and she loved it immediately. As a matter of fact we now are fighting over it, and it looks like we are going to have to get a second one to keep the peace. The cool thing is you can download books from Amazon wirelessly in less than a minute. Book prices are usually $1.99 to $9.99 for new releases and there are literally thousands of older, out of copyright titles you can get for free. Go to Amazon and read more about it.

When is a Contract not a Contract?

2008-07-25T16:21:00.007-07:00

Why, when you are a professional athlete of course. Our hometown Arizona Cardinals and their star receiver Anquan Boldin are at odds over his contract. He is saying he was promised a new deal before training camp and since it hasn't happened yet he was lied to. I have one word for you Anquan....WHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Boldin is under contract thru 2010 after having his contract reworked and extended in July 2005. Now don't think I'm a heartless, uncaring, dolt that doesn't know that the economy sucks right now and costs of almost everything are going up and that Anquan probably has a lot of mouths to feed. But keep in mind, Boldin received $13.25 million in bonuses and salary in the 2005-2006 season when his contract was reworked, and is scheduled to make $2.5 million in base salary this season, $2.75 million in base salary in 2009 and $3 million in base salary in 2010. I don't think we will be seeing him in any soup lines any time soon! The question now is how is this going to affect the locker room? As a leader on the team I don't know how it can't be a big negative on the mood of those around him.
Anquan here is my advice....Be a man, do your job to the best of your ability, honor your contract, and quit whining.

Dateline Detroit........WNBA Season in Session

2008-07-23T17:26:00.005-07:00

The WNBA season started yesterday and the game between the Los Angeles Sparks and the Detroit Shock ended with a brouhaha with 4.6 seconds left. When order was restored the Sparks won the game 84-81. Unfortunately Shock foreward Cheryl Ford suffered a serious knee injury and will be out for the entire season.

This is the kind of publicity that may get fans involved, everyone loves mayhem!

Edit: Correction....It has been brought to my attention that the WNBA season actually started on May 17th but no one knew it. My sincere apologies to those of you that call yourselves WNBA fans.

Sir Charles? To one lucky busboy, he's Saint Charles

2008-07-23T02:30:00.008-07:00

I guess Charles still has some money left after his gambling escapades after all. Now I hope he saves a little for some golf lessons.....his swing is hands down the worst I've ever seen.
Way to go Chuck! It's nice to read a story like this once in a while.

Philadelphia Daily News
CHRISTIAN ABATE majored in education at Temple, but put his studies on hold for a few years while having financial hardship. During a visit to Saloon last summer, Charles Barkley asked Abate how he was enjoying teaching, and was disappointed to learn that Abate had still not returned to Temple because of problems securing financial aid. Sir Charles told Abate he would like to help him with his tuition, and Abate wasn't sure how to respond. Barkley didn't give him much time, telling Abate that he had the length of Barkley's meal to decide. Abate wisely accepted.

>>Keep Reading: Full Post

Chris Snyder a Little Teste?....Or, Why Do You Call Your Website FracturedTesticle.com?

2008-07-23T01:49:00.008-07:00

On June 30th 2008 Arizona Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder was hit by a foul ball and suffered a "fractured testicle". After a little research I determined a fractured testicle is a rip or tear in the "tunica albuginea resulting in extrusion of the testicular contents." Now I don't have to tell you that losing your testicular contents is not a good thing! For days afterward his injury was the talk of the town and fracturedtesticle.com was born. By the way, Snyder is such a tough guy he finished out the inning on "adrenaline"!!!!

Wie to Play in PGA Event

2008-07-23T00:32:00.004-07:00

What the heck is going on in the Michelle Wie camp? It was announced on Monday that Wie, 19, would play the Legends Reno-Tahoe Open next week. The event is on the schedule against a World Golf Championship tournament, the Bridgestone Invitational, which will draw the world’s top-ranked players.
I guess I don't understand this quote, “This is another step in the process of making me a better player,” Are you kidding me? Missing the cut and getting smoked by the lower tier players in the PGA is going to make you a better player? Someone needs to step in and give this young woman some better guidance than she is currently getting from her parents and/or advisors. As talented as she is it is hard to watch the way her career has faltered the past year or so.

Diamondbacks Making Moves to Improve.

2008-07-22T23:29:00.004-07:00

The Arizona Diamondbacks made a trade today sending infielder Emilio Bonifacio to the Washington Nationals for 6'-11" 290 lb. relief pitcher Jon Rauch. I didn't know much about Rauch but holy moly he's a big dude! Seeing him standing next to Chris Burke and Miguel Montero, he looks like a giant. He must be one imposing figure staring down a hitter from atop the pitching mound. He pitched one scoreless inning in Tuesday nights games.
The D'backs also moved Eric Byrnes from the 15 day disabled list to the 60 day and called up Jamie D'Antona from their Triple-A Tucson affiliate. He then went on and picked up a nice single in his first at bat against the Cubbies.

Now I hate to be the bearer of bad news for you Cub fans but this may not be the year after all. The D'backs won again last night and the Cubs did not look good, committing three errors in the 9-2 loss. Granted it's still only July!!!

Catfight at the Racetrack

2008-07-22T21:56:00.004-07:00

Danica Patrick made the news again as she confronted Milka Duno for not letting her pass during a practice session. I can't imagine she is thinking of moving over to NASCAR.....she is way too soft to be trading paint with the big boys. I have been a big fan of hers and want to see her do well but her confrontations and tough guy (girl) act is getting old.